March 17, 2014

Good afternoon my wonderful family and friends!! This week has been such a blessing, as always. I feel like I just cannot keep up with the weeks anymore. Didn't I just email like yesterday? Whoever took March, please give it back. Thanks! :)

Today I wanted to share an insight that the Spirit gave to me this morning during my personal study. I am almost finished with the Book of Mormon for my 4th time here on my mission, so I am in the Book of Ether right now and LOVING it! (Obviously). Anyway, I fell in love with the story of the Jaredites and their journeys across the great waters and how the Lord guided and directed them. Something that stuck out to me this time was in Chapter 6 of Ether. They has just finished building the barges, and are finally on their way out to be guided on the waters by the Lord. Ether 12:5-6 talks about the many trials and tribulations that came their way on the waters. They were met with storms, and waves, tempests, and fierce winds. But what I really love is verse 8, "And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters;". What a powerful statement. This simple statement teaches us many things - when we are going through our own spiritual tempests and storms, we can be assured that as long as we are faithful, we are still being lead towards the "promised land". In our case, being led toward eternal life. We know that the Lord knows what experiences we need in order to become more like Him. He knows what will make us stronger and what will help us to draw nearer to Him. He knew that because the Jaredites had built these barges according to His desires, they would be able to withstand the storms that so fiercely came their way. So too, must we be able to build ourselves upon the Savior so that when the winds and storms come, as we have been promised they will, we will be able to anchor ourselves in Christ. The chapter goes on to talk about their journey to the promised land, and verse 10 states, "they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." I love this. As we go through our life, there will be many times when we feel "under the water". We feel as though we cannot get any lower, possibly even that the Lord has forsaken us. But, as we anchor ourselves in Christ, we are promised that we can have light eternally through those dark times in this life. We can know that the adversary will throw things our way to bring us down, but that the Savior is Light. He is where we can turn in order to keep ourselves away from the darkness of the world.

This past week we were contacting at a bus stop for a few hours, and about to wrap up. I saw a woman walking with 2 little boys so I thought I would squeeze in a conversation with her before running to our appointment. Well, I won't go into great detail about what had happened. But I will say that never in my life have I heard such vile things about my dear Heavenly Father and the Savior, Jesus Christ. I have never heard their names disgraced in such a manner. The Spirit was no where to be found. As a missionary, you are so used to having the Spirit with you and so when it was gone, my body almost went into shock. Literally. My legs starting shaking, and my tongue was locked. I wanted to run away. Not because I was afraid of her at all, but because I have never felt so far from the Spirit. I wanted Him back with me! 

So, when my body received strength from the Lord, I walked away and grabbed my companion who was talking with somebody else. As we walked away, I couldn't help but cry. The woman knelt down and spoke to her little boys, telling them to never, ever, speak with somebody if they have our name tag. My heart ached as I thought about what just happened. I looked at my companion, who could hear what the woman was yelling as I spoke with her, and just began crying. I hated the feeling of the Spirit not being with me, and not being with them. I couldn't control my shaking and I had no words to say! Finally, we got in the car and I turned on "I Know That My Redeemer Lives". By the end of the first verse, the Spirit had filled my heart and I know again that the Savior is real. I know that He was there with me, and that He felt that pain I felt when that woman spoke. He had felt that pain for me when He suffered for me, and for her, many years past. He knew that I would go through that. He allowed me to go through that, and I am grateful He did. Why? Because by the end of "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" my tears were flowing from joy. I know God is real and that He loves me. I can literally say, that I had NO disposition to do evil ever again, for fear that I might lose the Spirit. The Lord allowed me to experience the lack of companionship from the Spirit, so that I would desire to never have that feeling again.

This week's challenge is to again, only if you have the ability, donate to the Church's missionary fund. I know I have given this challenge before. But I am realizing each week how grateful I am for those of you who are contributing to us as missionaries.  So many literally could not do it without you. Please, be as generous as your means allow while still taking care of your family. I PROMISE you, you will be blessed.

I love each of you so much. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. May I stand as a witness of Him as I bear His name literally on my chest each and every day. May I eternally have His name written in my heart as I represent Him and His Gospel. May each of you know that I KNOW, that my redeemer lives. For I have seen His hand in my life countless times. I know that He is there to comfort me when I stand in need of comfort. Will I falter or will I fight? Brothers and Sisters, I answer with a resounding, "fight"! For the adversary is alive and well. Each and every day, may I represent the Savior to the best of my ability, always abounding in good works, to one day find myself on His right hand. I am not perfect, but I try my best to remain pure. To echo the words of the dear man whose son was taken over by a devil, "Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief."

Sister Biggs